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Seven kinds of caffeine candy, each helping you stay up to try the others. details

Great civil rights pioneer, great historian, great beanie doll. details

Sing the song Love Hurts to yourself, substituting the word "Rats" for "Hurts," and then just try to resist these adorable creatures. 4 1/4" vinyl, and you get the pair. details

Participants in obsessive subcultures reassure themselves that they're not bad by focusing on the idiots who are even worse. This book will help. details

Much more portable than the typical Marshall, even if you got two of them to make a Marshall stack, "an iconic image for rock and roll," which we recommend. details

Real people in actual outfits. See streetbonersandtvcarnage.com for a taste. Includes commentary from Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, and Tim & Eric. details

This cardboard standup of Elvis in his gold suit has a motion-activated speaker that plays Elvis saying "Hi, this is Elvis Presley," "Well thanks for letting me talk to you," and of course, "Thank you very much." details

The Hindu destroyer god tells you the time from your wrist forever and ever, or at least until you need a new battery. details

So futuristic, so useful: this cube projects a glowing red keyboard onto a flat surface, and then it works as a real keyboard. See the video. The marketing plays up the iPad/iPhone angle, but it works with Android devices, Windows, Mac OS, and Blackberry tablets. details

Drink with the greatest drinkers in history: Baudelaire! Churchill! Dorothy Parker! And that's only half of them. (A clue: the rest are accomplished writers as well.) details

We're sure that this is all properly licensed with EPE, but it has the weird edge of Elvis folk art. Check out the intense stare of the Elvis on the right. At four feet by five feet, this could really work as a tapestry. details

Not enough guitar picks? Too many expired credit cards, and other sheets of useless plastic? Become your own guitar pick factory with this excellent invention. details

Squishing pennies under trains, licking batteries—there are all kinds of things that will teach kids about science and pushing the envelope. This book will show them how. details

A sleek, lightweight watch with a USB connection to 8 GB of storage. details

It's like we always say, "Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare." OK, we never say that. Did you know that this cult was only founded in 1966? Not so old after all. Includes latex headpiece with pony tail attached. One more thing: be real careful if you wear this to the airport. details

Look, the vendor gave it the name "Jesus/Pharoah" costume, not us, but this costume's ability to pull double duty really adds to its value. With beard: Jesus! Without: Pharoah! Great for one-man shows. details

Seven inches wide when inflated, so not even that mini, but nice and compact in its nice tin before inflation, making it a very convenient gift. details

About the scariest single Elvis item we've seen. The costume face actually goes over your chest, and your head goes in the giant hair thing, which we assume has eye holes. details

Get your writing shit together. (The publisher only substitutes the "u" with an asterisk on the cover, so they're not fucking around.) One rule is "Don't fuck up the coordination of number between subject and verb." And, full of great writing advice! details