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Gifts to eat, or to prepare food to eat. Some, healthy; some, not so much.

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Whoever thought a spork could be so badass. Eleven inches long when fully deployed. Use it wisely. details

And it's vinyl, so if someone puts real ketchup on it, it's easy to clean. details

Now you can enjoy a sugar high/brain freeze combination in your very own home, not with some knockoff flavored ice thing, but with a licensed 7-11 Slurpee® maker! Includes a coupon for a professionally made Slurpee to compare with your home efforts for fine-tuning of your recipe. details

No more tears! At least, no more when cutting onions. Protect your eyes from onion fumes with these goggles. details

What's the best way to learn to cook Japanese food? One word: Manga! This Japanese manga cookbook will teach you how to make rice balls, yakitori, udon noodles and more—and, how to make bento boxes! details

Fake fur, but still, the most luxurious apron you've ever seen. details

If Fred Flintstone ate corn on the cob, he would definitely use these corncob holders. details

Gum in an excellent box. Offer some to your young friends as you tell them "By the way, two guys from Williamsburg with laptops and closely trimmed beards don't qualify as a band." But they certainly qualify as hipsters! details

Make your French toast really, really French by burning in this excellent picture of the Eiffel Tower. Ooh la la! No one will dare call it "freedom toast" after that. details

How to make lucha libre cookies: punch out the cookie and stamp on the face with this muy fantastico kit, then use different colored frostings to color each one. We suggest that you listen to Los Straitjackets while doing so. details

Hipsters love Sriracha hot sauce, so they'll really love this popcorn. Four-ounce package. details

Or, as he calls himself, "Rastro." Judy and Rosie the Maid would also make a cool salt and pepper shaker combo, but these are pretty call. 4" high ceramic. details

It's like training wheels for chopsticks, helping kids learn how to use them. Available in pink and red. details

Grow up! No snickering from you, Mr. Smarty Pants! It means rooster, so it's basically chicken soup that happens to be spicy! I said, stop snickering! details

That's "ABC" as in "Already Been Chewed." Make some very sad gingerbread men! details

Not an actual working boombox, but really cool-looking. Carry it on your shoulder for extra effect. details

Get it? It's a wooden ruler measuring in inches and centimeters, with a picture of Julia Child and a list of other rulers of the kitchen, both BC and AD. details

What kind of kitchen timer would a real hipster have? Duh, just look at the picture. 55 minutes maximum, in case that's an issue. details

Turns eating into a heavy construction project on a kid-sized scale. Each eating utensil is a little construction vehicle (Fork Lift Fork, Front Loader Spoon, Bulldozer Pusher), and the plate has little ramps, and it's all dishwasher safe. details

Cookies that you make with these excellent cookie cutters will silently sneak up and kill regular gingerbread men in the dead of night. Each approximately 4 inches by 3 inches. details

Mix science, cooking, and a taste for strange effects, and you get the current cooking trend known as molecular cuisine or molecular gastronomy. It often involves expensive ingredients and equipment, but this kit includes everything you need to get started, included a DVD to show you how to work the magic. details

These rugged, reusable, food-safe soldiers will make any plate of hors d'ouevres or children's meal look far more dramatic. details

The vendor calls it a "Flipper guitar spatula," but just look at it: it's a Strat. (Interested in a small Squire real one?) 100% silicone, tested up to 500 degrees, perfect for pancakes, burgers, and anything that needs to be cooked in a hot pan and occasionally flipped. details

Made of silicone and dishwasher safe, so better for eating off of than actual vinyl records, although you could probably use real CDs as accompanying coasters. details

A minute to mix and a minute to cook. Includes cake mix, frosting, sprinkles, candle, spoon, balloon and a noise maker! Just mix with water, microwave, decorate, and celebrate. Excellent for birthday emergencies. details

Store your knives violently. And the knives are included! Also available in chrome and black. details

For really obsessive cooks. Helps make your chopped vegetables, or anything else, come out exactly the same size. 9" by 12" beechwood. details

This dishwasher, freezer, microwave, and oven safe pan makes cake layers that look like pieces of bread so that you can, you know, make a cake that looks like a big sandwich. Includes recipe for the peanut-butter and jelly cake pictured. And you've gotta love the name "Cakewich." details

Remember those Dyno label makers where you would turn a wheel to pick each letter and print raised words on a sticker? This is like that, but for gum instead of stickers! Three gum flavors available. details

7" plate has plush wiener schnitzel, with a side of fries, a slice of lemon, and some ketchup. details

This would make a great all-around purse, but being insulated, you can store lunch in it. (We recommend that, unlike whoever set up this picture, you put your peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a Baggie, or things could get messy inside the eyeball lunch bag pretty quickly.) details

Make cupcakes that look like skulls, then follow the included recipe to add a frosting brain. Alas poor Yorick, you sure look tasty! details

Is it a crazed vampire with blood dripping from his fangs, or a hard plastic replacement for most ketchup bottle sizes that lets you dispense ketchup from the fangs? The latter. details